Stop Trying to Be a ‘Good Mom’ (Be a Purposeful Mom Instead)
I always wanted to be a “good mom”.
Everywhere we look, we are being told what a “good mom” is supposed to look like…
A good mom cooks organic meals.
A good mom signs her kids up for just the right activities.
A good mom never raises her voice.
A good mom keeps the house tidy, the calendar organized, and the snacks Pinterest-worthy.
A big one for me is a good mom listens to everything her kids want to tell her and never says, “Stop talking.” LOL! It’s everyday, constant, nonstop chatter! 🤪
Here’s the problem: the definition of “good mom” keeps changing depending on who you ask. And if you’re chasing that ever-shifting standard, you’ll always end up feeling like you’re not enough. How will you know when you’ve achieved being a good mom?
That’s the trap.
When you’re focused on checking boxes, you’re living out of pressure instead of purpose. You parent reactively—trying to prove you measure up—instead of intentionally living the values you want to pass on to your kids. I lived in such bondage in the early years of motherhood. I didn’t want anyone to think the wrong thing about me. I was trying to perform, trying to control my kids so they wouldn’t embarrass me.
Spoiler alert: kids are going to embarrass you. 🤦♀️
Kids don’t need a “good mom” by the world’s definition. They need you—anchored, steady, and clear about what actually matters in your home. They need you to enjoy life, to be an example for them of what living a beautiful, meaningful life looks like.
A purposeful, intentional mom isn’t perfect. She’s aligned. She knows her values, and she leads her family with them. That might be:
Choosing connection over comparison.
Holding firm boundaries without guilt.
Saying no when the schedule threatens peace at home.
Modeling emotional maturity, even on the hard days.
A purposeful, intentional mom measures success by whether she’s faithful to her role, not whether she keeps up with somebody else’s version of “good.”
You don’t have to overhaul your entire life to stop chasing good mom standards. Start small:
Define your family values. What three words describe the kind of home you want to build?
Notice when you’re parenting to impress. Ask yourself: Am I doing this because it matters, or because I’m worried about what someone else will think?
Practice leading with calm clarity. The more grounded you are, the more secure your kids will feel. This means say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t oscillate in your decisions. Be a person who isn’t shaken by the ebbs and flows of life.
Your kids need you to be yourself. They need you to be a purposeful, intentional mom who leads with conviction, calm, and love.
So let’s stop trying to measure up to a moving target and start living with purpose—the kind that brings peace to you and security to your kids.
